Friday, December 29, 2017

Christmas Letter 2017

Family and Friends,

There are no boundaries in searching for a Christmas letter theme—this year’s came from yet another trip to Yellowstone connected to a work trip on which I watched the classic movie “The Princess Bride.”  With limited artistic license, the following movie quotes were heard on the trip.

As we loaded the van to start the drive Lisa warned, “There may be problems once we are inside,” there’s a decent chance “There will be no survivors.” Then to the kids on why they should play nice in the car, “I’ll explain and I’ll use small words so you’ll be sure to understand.” 

Lily to Andrew while he negotiated to trade her seats in the car so he could see better to look for animals, “Stop saying that!  Offer me money!  Offer me everything I ask for.”  Andrew to anyone claiming to spot something before he did, “Inconceivable.”  Then recounting animal sightings from all of his previous 14 trips to Yellowstone, “Unless I am wrong, and I’m never wrong” we saw a grizzly bear right there six years ago.  Andrew taunting his siblings after earning $3 for spotting bears, “You got money?” (Editor’s note—does anyone else pay for spotting animals?)

After years of trying to see a bear on a hike and finally finding a Grizzly sow with two cubs I led the kids closer while saying, “a few more steps and we’ll be safe in the fireswamp.” Author’s note—I did stay more than a quarter of a mile away, there’s barely even photographic proof that we saw bears while hiking.  Lisa when I ran over a snowshoe hare late one night while leaving the park, “That is the sound of ultimate suffering.”  Author’s note—the brake pads were completely gone and I really didn’t have a choice.  When looking at blood stains on the road the next morning but finding no carcass we agreed, “Mostly dead is slightly alive.”

Lisa to Andrew on Saturday morning when realizing Andrew was still wearing the same clothes from Thursday, “You don’t look so good, you don’t smell so good either.”  Natali when asked to sit by the smell named Andrew, “Why don’t you give me a paper-cut and pour lemon juice on it.”  Lily after licking the bear spray canister, “That’s a miracle pill?  The chocolate coating makes it go down easier.”  Well, maybe she just said it tasted like salt.  Andrew when noticing the sign closing the trail we were about to take due to recent bear activity in the area, “You want me to read this or not?”  Everyone but Emily when he did read it aloud, “Boo, Boo, Boo!”

When Andrew misidentified a distant bison as a bear he contritely said, “Sorry Father, I tried.”  And I responded, “I think that’s the worst thing I ever heard.”  Emily when any animals other than moose were spotted, “Don’t bother me with trifles.”  Lily to the author when told we were going on another walk, rather than a hike which she expressly disliked, “You are a rotten liar.  Your first story was better.”  Kate when she pulls out the gloves we’ve spent 10 minutes looking for, “Oh, you mean this gate key (glove)?” 

When discussing the lunch menu of peanut butter sandwiches for the 3rd day in a row, “We’ll have to force feed him (her).”  When Lisa lists the snack options to the hungry kids yet again, “That’s it? Impossible.”  When the author broke out the six pack of Whatchamacallits, “Why didn’t you list that among our assets in the first place?”  Me to Lisa, “There’s a shortage of perfect DELETED BY EDITOR in the world…”   What we wished our kids would say after realizing that their sibling relationships will be longer than any other, “I have been in the revenge business so long, now that it is over I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.”

As they dropped me off at the airport in Idaho Falls for my flight, the narrator said, “A wave of love swept over them.  It’s kissing again, you don’t want to hear that.” Lisa in desperation exclaimed, “You won’t be seeing me again because I’m killing myself when I get to the honeymoon suite (or after I drive 4 hours home with 6 kids without you!)”

Natali’s (15) accent after returning from 3 weeks in England with Grandma and Grandpa Dame only lasted a few days, but her broadened perspective on life will last much longer...She made the top choir for high school going into her Sophomore year and earned an actual paycheck for a month’s work at Woodgrain this summer to pay for gas and insurance now that she has a driver’s license and a car to drive.

Mack (14) is still debating whether to attend his first youth dance but is no longer allowed to attend road games for BYU football after witnessing the 27-0 shutout at the hands of LSU (his last road game was a shutout at Michigan two years ago).  Plays soccer and basketball at every opportunity.  Beat the author in a 5k on the 4th of July.  Hiked in shorts in the snow in Yellowstone.  Reads the scriptures every morning and found hundreds of family history names. 

Andrew (12) might have secretly enjoyed seeing “Phantom of the Opera,” and less secretly loved Scout Camp and the excuse to avoid showers for a week.  He was more excited to spot his first alligator on the trip to Louisiana than to watch the BYU/LSU football game.  Saw dozens of whales and dolphins on his 12 year old trip to Monterey, CA with the author.  Continues to miss the bus regularly even though it now picks him up 200 yards from the house instead of a half mile away.  I considered letting him write his section but was afraid he’d use all the space…

Kate (10) has a surprising grace when dancing that didn’t come from the author or editor.  Was so sick she didn’t want to dance but didn’t want to miss the Daddy/Daughter dance at school. Finished the first Harry Potter book, her longest yet.  Loves playing with her 58 cousins.  Started writing in her journal in hopes of succeeding me as author of the family Christmas letter.

Emily (7) found another moose in Yellowstone to keep the streak intact, smiled more than anyone else on the soccer field during her first season playing whether she was scoring for her team or the opposing one.  Still can’t bring herself to eat fruits or vegetables.  She loves ballet and choir and can’t wait until she is old enough to go the new Meridian Temple after enjoying the open house.

Lily (4) walked into our room and told Lisa the first week of the year that “It’s not true that everyone gets fat at Christmas because I didn’t get fat.”  Where did you hear that?  “On a commercial, on Studio C…”  Has learned to push her siblings buttons and manipulate them—latest example was chanting “Andrew loves ___” over and over again on the trip to Yellowstone.  We conveniently video’d the chanting to bribe Andrew to wear his seat belt the rest of the trip.

Lisa (36) talked me into an ocean/beach vacation—a splendid adventure to the Galapagos Islands where we snorkeled with penguins, turtles, marine iguanas, and sharks and enjoyed all the discussions with shipmates from around the world that didn’t involve our country’s political farce. Loved spending a week with her parents in England and loved it even more when her parents came home after serving an 18 month mission to England.  3 trips without kids in a 6 month stretch left her more than happy to spend the family summer vacation close to home at McCall.  She’s looking forward to retiring the minivan after 6 years in December. 

Greg (38) survived an SAP software implementation at work, hopes not to spend another week on the roof at work with a snow blower due to record snows…Completed his bucket list of visiting all 50 states by attending the BYU/LSU football game in Louisiana—should have used the leftover Solar Eclipse sunglasses during the football game and while walking Mack and Andrew down Bourbon Street.  Came in 2nd in a best (hairy) chest contest at a ward pool party and lost a fight at home with a toilet that ended up with a cracked tank & minor flood.

Book ideas: A Man Called Ove, The Nightingale, When Breath Becomes Air, As You Wish

Anyone still reading deserves a payoff, or at least a better letter next year, but the best I have to offer is my witness or testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  My Faith in Christ brings me hope and peace in a troubled world.  Striving to follow His example motivates me to serve and love others even in small and simple ways.  The world needs more love and we need the Savior’s grace to help us change.  Our life may be chaotic, raising 6 kids and trying to teach them to love each other might be frustrating, but we wouldn’t trade each other or the experiences we are sharing.  As the narrator said, “Death cannot stop true love, all it can do is delay it for a while” so yes, we’ll go back to Yellowstone next year, and I’ll write another Christmas letter.


Merry Christmas, The Eastons (Greg, Lisa, Natali, Mack, Andrew, Kate, Emily, and Lily)

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